Arguably, golf is a sport that has the most rules and etiquette. It has one for almost everything. Who tee’s off first, who putts last, rules on rainy days, rules on sunny days, shout fore/ball when you are playing your crappiest shot of your life, etc. Since there are so many rules associated with golf, I’m not going to rant all about it here (since I’m not a master at all the rules myself). Pick up the R&A rulebook, and start reading (at least the introduction and basics). What I want to talk about here are the most basic etiquette that if adhered to by everyone should make the round more enjoyable for everyone. I like to call this basic ethics and common sense.
Rule 1: Buggy on Track vs Buggy On Course
There is a reason why when it is stated, the buggy should remain on track. Yes, after several holes on the golf course, and especially after playing back to back 18′s, you’d feel like your knees is just gonna give up on you. That’s when you feel damn it’s great if I can drive the buggy on the fairways right up to the ball. And you know what? that’s what some people do! Yes, these senseless, irresponsible, idiots, who has cow shit stuffed in their head as brains happily drives up on the fairways leaving trails of damage behind. The buggy remains on track to ensure that fairways remain playable and are in good condition for all. Yes, there are just cases when you get frustrated with the management of the golf course when it appears that they do nothing to maintain their fairways, but hey, those idiots who happily drives up the fairways when signs say BUGGY STRICTLY ON TRACK are the real culprits behind damaged fairways. And most often, they are the same one’s who will be cursing a course that has poor and damaged fairways! You idiots! You guys contributed much to the damage and I liken these people at par with the eternal nemesis of golf courses, the wild boars. Well at least the wild boars are out there in search of food, and thus survival of their kind, but these brainless idiots, they do it just because they are too lazy to walk. Fools! Golf is a walking game. You’re too lazy to walk, fine, stay at home and play golf on your PS3 you idiots! Some might say that they drive the buggy right up the fairways because there are no signs up saying BUGGY STRICTLY ON TRACK. Fine, then for once use that thing up there in your head given by god. Think! If the ground is soft and soggy, don’t get your buggy on the course. And even if for some reason that you did not realize the ground is all soft and soggy, immediately get the buggy off the fairways! Its called common sense. The buggy weighs I assume several hundred kilos, plus the weight of two fat ass golfers on board, you have a minimum of 2 to 300 hundred kilos of weight pressing the ground down. Come on, don’t be a dumb ass and start using common sense!
Rule 2: Speed Play vs Slow Play
I know that slow playing kills the game. Well I too at times feel like walking up to the flight in front and stuff their asses with my irons (golf irons that is) for being just too darn slow. They take like 20 practice swing and still whack a crappy 15 meter shot, and they refuse jog or brisk walk back to their buggy to speed up the play. Hey dude, if you’re looking for an enjoyable morning stroll, head down to the Taman Tasik Titiwangsa, or your neighborhood parks. NOT ON THE GOLF COURSE when there are people waiting to tee off behind you.
On the contrarary, people who wants to speed up their play too much are equally brainless idiots too, and they have greater chance of killing not only the game, but another person. I’ve had an experience when I was just about to take my second shot when a ball struck my thigh! Damn it was painful and I learned that the ball was from a tee off from the flight behind us. If it had struck my balls (not golf balls, but balls) I could have been dead! Assholes! Wait for the flight in front to clear before you start whacking your shots you idiots.
Hey, golf is a gentleman’s game, I f you realize that you are playing too slow and holding up the flight behind, SPEED UP play or let the flight behind you pass. And if you are the flight being held up, just nicely ask the flight in front of you to speed up play or let you pass, or better still, get the course marshal to deal with them. Do understand (especially if you are playing on a public course) that you will encounter with beginners thus having to understand that they will be a little bit slow with their game, but hey, you have gone through the phase (as a beginner) so give them a chance.
Rule 3: With your flight mates
This is actually more of courtesy, manners, and common sense. One rule. What you don’t like another person to do while you ‘re playing your game, don’t do it to another! For instance, do keep quiet when another person is teeing off or taking his shot, etc. Do be a little bit considerate of your buggy mate. You guys are sharing buggy. Don’t just drive off from his spot until he has confirmed that he’s got all needed clubs with him, and even so, do look back to see if he needs to change his clubs or what. Don’t la be so gung-ho to look only for your ball, but instead, if you’re pretty sure that you hit a good shot, and your ball is on the fairway, why not help him look for his ball. When on the green. I have experienced playing with several that when all ball is on the green, and my ball is like 30 feet away from the pin and his ball is like 5-8 feet away from the pin, he could not be bothered to remove the pin despite seeing me ready to make my putt already. Well he’s to preoccupied with cleaning his ball and reading his line and placing his ball, that he dint even take cue till I finally had to go to the pin and remove it myself. Weh…I know la golf is an individual game (or something like that), but you are playing with others! Your ball is closest to the pin. Help your flight mates remove the pin laa. You’ll still have the time to read the lines, and it’ll help speed up the game.
Well, I think that’s about it for the basics. Well, I think the number one rule in golf ethics is having courtesy for others and having the ability to actually use your brain and think on common sense. Do it, and I seriously believe everyone will have a better and enjoyable game, and hopefully post better scores.
